The Journal of Elizabeth April
by A Star Named Hope
Summary: Elizabeth April doesn't belong anywhere. Not at home, not at school, and definitely not at Camp Half-Blood. What will Elizabeth do? Follow her through journal entries as she discovers who she is, who everyone else is, and most impotent, where she belongs.
1. Life

February 23, 2010

I was supposed to be the perfect child

I wasn't

I was supposed to be in advanced classes

I wasn't

I was supposed to be on the honor roll

I wasn't

I was supposed to excel in math and science

I didn't

I was supposed to be all the teacher's favorite

I wasn't

I was supposed to be the perfect student

I wasn't

I was supposed to be the child they dreamed of

I wasn't

O_o

Dad says

One day

Everything will click

He knows it won't

He's just clinging to the last strand of hope

Mom's given up

She just glares at me

I tell myself

I don't mind

That my parents don't love me

Like parents should

I pretend the awkward silence at the dinner table

Doesn't hurt

But it does

O_o

All I want

Is someone to love me

Like me

For who I am

At school

They call me a freak

I don't belong

I don't fit in

At lunch

I sit at the empty table

Back of the cafeteria

I listen to my music

Before the lunch supervisors

Take my music away

O_o

Were I'm from

Being me is not accepted

Not allowed

Then why am I like this?

Why am I me

When I'm supposed to be

The perfect child

They always dreamed of?

O_o

They're mean to me at school

_Freak_ Jenny laughs

I don't flinch

I show no emotion

Jenny narrows her eyes

_What are you doing here?_

_You don't belong_

She turns and walks away

I look down

_You're right_

I whisper

_I don't belong_

_I never will_

_O_o  
><em>

February 24, 2010

Every day I write in my journal

Because Ms. Rachel tells me to

And Ms. Rachel believes in me

So I write

O_o

Everyday

That I can

I pour my soul out

Ms. Rachel

She's supposed to read them

The entries

But I asked her not to read mine

She just checks

To make sure I write

So I write

My writing is different

Then the other students'

Theirs is choppy

And uneven

My writing is smooth

Like water

And soft

Like snow

I ask Ms. Rachel about this

She asks if she can read something

I show her a paragraph of writing

She smiles

_Poetry_

_You write poetry_

I laugh

_I can't write poetry! _

_I don't know how_

Ms. Rachel looks back at my paper

_No Elizabeth, this is poetry_

I don't know what to say

_But…I mean…_

_How can I write poetry…_

_Without meaning to?_

Ms. Rachel smiles at me

_You're a natural poet_

_O_o  
><em>

I stare into Ms. Rachel's eyes

They're hazel

They speak truth

They believe they speak truth

But I don't believe them

I look away

_You'll understand eventually_

Ms. Rachel says

I suppose it is poetry

I write

But not good poetry

I doubt its good poetry

I'm not good at anything

_One of your…uh…Charms_

Chris W. would say

_What charms?_

I ask

Kelli rolls her eyes

_That's the point _

She says

Like it's obvious

_What point?_

Because I don't know

What she means

Everyone laughs

I show no emotion

I pretend

I don't hear them

I tell myself I don't care

It doesn't hurt

But it does

It always will

O_o

February 25, 2010

**You can read this one Ms. Rachel**

O_o**  
><strong>

My parents insist I take classes

Outside classes

Like robotics

Like programming

Like Saturday algebra

Like musical theater

Like piano

Like band

Like voice

They claim

I get to choose

The classes I take

But I don't get to choose

If I got to choose

I'd take theater

And voice

And I'd still take piano

O_o

When I was younger

My parents signed me up

For piano lessons

They got movers

To haul our little upright piano

To our living room

And I learned to play piano

I loved piano

I practiced more

Then I write in my journal

I had talent

At least I thought I did

Because my parents stopped taking me

To piano lessons

And they got movers

To haul our little piano

Back up

To its little corner

In the attic

And my parents

Signed me up for extra math lessons

And science lessons

And technology lessons

Nothing understandable

Nothing light hearted

Nothing fun

O_o

I go up to the attic

When no one's home

And I play the little

Upright piano

I play out my heart

My soul

My worries

My problems

Everything's okay

For a few minutes

But then I hear the door being opened

And I shut the piano lid

And run downstairs

Before any questions are asked

They never say

But I don't think I'm allowed to play

The little abandoned upright piano

It's my piano

The first I played on

Of course I will play

I will always play

O_o

**Ms. Rachel? I'm going to Europe on Sunday. Could I take my journal to write in? It would mean a lot.**

O_o **  
><strong>

February 26, 2010

_**Elizabeth, of course you can take your journal. Thank you for asking. Where in Europe are you going? You must be very excited. Remember to bring back pictures and souvenirs to show us. I'm sure everyone in the class will be excited to hear about your trip. Have Fun**_

_** -Ms. Rachel**_

O_o_**  
><strong>_

**YOU CAN't READ THIS MS. RACHEL!**

O_o**  
><strong>

But you're wrong Ms. Rachel

I'm not excited

I don't want to bring back pictures

And souvenirs

No one in the class will be excited

To hear about my trip

Because they don't care

About me

They wouldn't care

If I died

I'm not planning on having fun

I don't want to have fun

I'm sorry

But I'm not

I'm going to Greece

-Elizabeth April


	2. Greece

February 28, 2010

I hate airplanes

I feel as though

They'll fall at any

Minute

And we'll all tumble

To our deaths

I'm sitting at the window

Mom's next to me

And Dad in the aisle seat

I glance out the little window

Everywhere I can see is water

It stretches out until it blends

With the sky

Same blue

O_o

Mom asks what I'm doing

When I take out my journal

_I'm writing_

_For Ms. Rachel's class_

Mom smiles

_Good for you_

_For doing school work_

I shrug

_I write because I want to _

Mom blinks

_Oh…okay_

She doesn't understand

I look at the pages

O_o

Dad tries to tell me about Greece

But it's a lost cause

_Come on Lizz_

I clench my fists

I hate being called Lizz

_You must know something _

_About Greek Mythology_

_Tell me_

I dig into my mind

What do I know?

What did I once learn?

_Zeus?_

Dad nods

_That's something_

_What else?_

I think harder

_Neptune?_

Dad struggles with his words

_Uh…that's a Roman god_

_But good job_

_What else_

I shrug

_I don't know_

Dad sighs

_Alright_

He leaves me alone

I feel sad

O_o

Mother sighs

_Don't you have _

_Some school_

_Stuff to work on?_

Her voice is empty

And I could hear

What she was really saying

My eyes sting slightly

_Why do you have_

_To be such a failure?_

O_o

March 1, 2010

We're staying at a nice hotel

Mom and Dad have a room

And I have my own room

We have a miniature kitchen

And a family room

With a big TV

There's a pool two floors down

With a diving board

And five slides

They serve us breakfast

In our rooms

It's luxurious

I don't like it

It feels wrong

Fake

All the smiles

All the perfection

Everything

O_o

We got to the Hotel

At 6:00 pm

It's seven now

Mom and dad say

We'll stay here for the rest

Of the day

I can deal with that

O_o

_Why don't we go swimming _

_Before dinner?_

Mom suggests

Smiling like it's

The most brilliant

Idea ever

I shrug

And we go the pool

It's bigger then it looked

From the window on the side

It smells of chemicals

I don't like it

I don't go swimming

Water related stuff

Has never been my thing

O_o

I don't go swimming

But the light is good

Bright

But not fake

So I write

Nothing better to do

Mom and Dad wade

In the pool

We will go to dinner soon

Not that I look forward to it

Fancy food

So much forced flavor

But still so bland

O_o

Like my life

Bland

Pushed aside

On the plate that is life

Reality

I don't mind

Honest

I don't want to be in the spotlight

Just one smile…

That's all I want

One person to acknowledge me

As a human child

Not a rag doll to throw around

A smile

All I ask

Is that to much to wish for?

O_o

My life is perfect

To the unseeing eye

But it's not

I want a friend

If there's a god

Out there

Will you

Can you

Please listen

I'm still here

Falling from dull…

…To empty…

My parents are coming my way

O_o

March 2, 2010

We went to the Parthenon

_Imagine how amazing it will be Lizz!_

Dad says over breakfast

My mom reads guides and pamphlets

_Stunning _I mutter

_Exactly _Dad laughs

Not catching my tone

_All that history…wow_

_You're so lucky Lizz!_

_Getting to see all this at your age…_

As there's nothing money can't buy…

I tune out

Nod once in a while

To make Dad happy

I could've tried harder…

O_o

The Parthenon is nothing

I'm bored after a minute

I whine and groan to my parents

Mom finally snaps to go sit on a bench

And write in my silly journal or something

But leave her and Dad alone

So they can enjoy the feeling of history

I want to gag

O_o

I sit on a bench

And write in my _silly journal_

And look at people passing by

Some tourists

Some not

And then strange

Things happened…

There were voices

They spoke

Not to me

It was as if it were memories

Floating around

Things that had been said

A long time ago

In my head

No one else

Seemed to hear them

They were just fragments

Of thoughts

And sentences

The words were

Mostly names

Strangely familiar

Though I didn't know

Any of them

_Athena said…_

…_according to Zeus…_

_Blast it all! Stupid Achilles…_

_Troy…yes…_

_Oh Beautiful Helen…_

_That is most certainly not true Hera!_

_You know nothing…_

O_o

I sat

And listened

Not knowing what else to do

I waited

And Mom and Dad came back

Chatting about the crumbling building

And we walking

Away from the place

Away from the voices

They got more distant with every step

Until they were just whispers

Like wind

O_o

Ate lunch

At a little café

Mom and Dad marveled

At all the Greek food

And decided to order tons

Of stuff and share

I got chicken tenders

With French fries and a root beer

I was out of it the rest of the day

Can't recall a thing we did

I'm worried

A selfish worry

For my own sake

Is what the kids at school say true?

Am I mad?

O_o

March 3, 2010

Today was a blur

Of crumbling buildings

And strange voices

They are louder

Clearer

But I can tell

That some have less authority

To them

Unlike the ones yesterday

That everyone sounded

…well…

Stuck up…

And snobbish…

They're more like sentences now

Too

Sometimes

I can even make out conversations

Little things

Chatting about the weather

Or market

Or a war…

I don't know what's going on

I don't know if I want to…

O_o

We are in out hotel room now

Relaxing after the 'long tiring day'

I sit in my room

Mom and dad eat snack in the mini kitchen

And talk about the wonders they saw that day

The wonders I don't even remember

They leave me alone

Since I have a head-ache

And lack interest in conversing

In sciency talk with them

O_o

We order dinner for our room

I have to sit with _them_

And they don't let me leave till

I eat every leafy green

And every weird colored piece of meat

And every spoonful of pudding

(To which I don't complain)

And I go to sleep…

…_zzz…_

O_o

March 4, 2010

Boring bus rides

And boring train rides

And boring walks

And boring museums

And boring art

And boring gardens

And a boring day

O_o

More voices though

Clearer today

And more solid

Heard something about gods…

That Zeus guy?

To bored to write more…

…and getting headache again…

O_o

March 5, 2010

Since there's nothing we saw of interest

I'm going to write what I hear

They're interesting

More by far

I don't remember everything

But this conversation stuck out…

_-He's not normal!_

_-Don't think of it as 'not normal'_

_He has a gift of rarity_

_You're lucky to have him as you're son_

_-lucky? There's nothing lucky about having a _

_Cursed child!_

_-he's not cursed! I told you, it's a gift._

_-He can see them! The past! It's not normal._

_-That's what makes him special_

_-That's what makes him a freak!_

_He knows things he shouldn't_

_-That's not true, __Alkaios_

_-I should've gotten ride of him the second Aikaterina passed!_

_The gods know she was the only thing keeping him here!_

_-He is you're son!_

_-It makes no difference_

_He will be gone by the next moon_

_-Alkaios!_

_-Be gone Chara_

_You have no business here_

_-But…_

_-LEAVE_

I wonder what it means.

O_o

March 6, 2010

We leave tomorrow

Finally

We're going to a concert

And then eating at an expensive restaurant

And then we'll spend the rest of the day at the hotel

I plan to tune out

And figure out what there voices are

I'll write later

As I've nothing to say write now

O_o

It's dinner now

I have to wear a skirt

Because it's a fancy restaurant

And a blouse

And high heel shoes

That make my feet hurt

My hair pulled high in a knot

That hurts whenever I turn my head a little

The food was alright

But not worth the pain of what I had to wear

And I still don't know what the voices are…

O_o

March 7, 2010

Finally going home

Its going to be a long flight home

And I don't like airplanes

But I'll be away from the voices

That's good

O_o

My parents talk about all the wonderful places we went

And things we saw

_What was your favorite, Lizz?_

They ask

_The fluffy beds_

I tell them

They shake their heads

Momentarily forgetting

What I failure their daughter is

O_o

I listen to my I-Pod

Piano music is pretty

I wish I could play it

Maybe I could play

If my parents let me…

I know I'd practice everyday

Every single day

Maybe my parents thought I wouldn't

Maybe they thought it was a waste of money

All the tutors they pay for

Is the waste of money

But that's something

We always have enough of…

Money…

O_o

I have to eat dinner now

In my squishy airplane seat

Right next to the little window

The airplane lady places a plate

Of Mac 'N Cheese in front of me

I don't know if I can keep it down…

O_o

March 8, 2010

**You can read this one Ms. Rachel**

O_o

Greece was so much fun!

We saw cool

Old

Crumbling buildings

Like the Colasuem

And interesting plays

Like one about the Togion war

There was good food

The Mac 'N Cheese was incredible

And the fancy hotel beds

Were soft and comfy

I will miss Greece

But I'm glad to be back!

-Elizabeth April

O_o

**A/N …I'm such a mean author…aren't I… Yes, I know. I'm sorry… The truth? I was lazy…I've been working on this chapter on and off for months….The good thing? It's a long chapter! Another good thing? I know what comes next! A bad thing? I may not be able to update until the Holidays are done…..I'm in so many concerts and performances and have so much homework to do for school and so little spare time…That it's going to be awhile… I might have extra time on my hands once in awhile and work on the next chapter to this and my other two chapter stories (Gone (sister's grim) and Achieve the Unachievable (Avatar: the Last Airbender), the latter, needing much revision…), but don't get your hopes up. Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to leave a review; although I really don't deserve any, any and all comments are welcome! Be back soon! P.S. In the the last entry written to Ms. Rachel (which is faked by the way), Trogon and Coliseum are spelled wrong on purpose. **


	3. A Place to Stay

March 10, 2010

School Musical

Everyone has to try out

They line us all up

The seventh grade

In the auditorium

Class by class

Mine is number 6

We all have to sing a bit

And read a bit

O_o

We sit in alphabetical order

In the stiff plastic seats

I'm the second person to sing

Kelli Allyrd was first

Kelli is popular

Kelli is a straight 'A' student

Kelli is in band

Kelli is in honors chorus

Kelli is in honors drama

Kelli has the prettiest singing voice ever

Kelli is pretty

Kelli is rich

Kelli is perfect

Kelli is kind

Kelli is considerate

Except to me

Kelli gets a standing ovation

When she is done singing

Ms. Rachel cheers too

And smiles her biggest smile

That's never been given to me

I clap too

So they won't have farther reason

To yell at me

I didn't want to clap

But I didn't want the clapping to stop

Now it was my turn

O_o

Sometimes I sing to myself

Quietly

When no one else it there

But never in front of anyone

Anyone by myself

Because 6th graders can try out

But only if they _want_ to

A lot of people did

Because you got to skip class

There were only three people in Math

We watched one of the PG movies

In the schools library

'_Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium' _

It was a good movie

Had pretty music

O_o

The musical was an original one

_So no one will be ahead of anyone_ they said

_You'll all start at square one_

Yeah right

_Your turn Elizabeth_

The music teacher said

Ms. Baker is her name

She's a nice lady

I like her

I guess…

I stand up

_Are you ready sweetie?_

I nod

She plays the introduction

We have to know when to come in

I take a deep shaky breath

And start at the perfect time

And I sing

And sing

And then Ms. Baker stops playing

She looks at me

_Were you singing?_

She asks

_I was_ I tell her

She looks at Kelli sitting bored

In the seat next to mine

Kelli nods

Like this is a waste of her time

She already knows the lead is hers

Even though the eighth grade

Haven't even had auditions yet

O_o

Ms. Baker asks me if I could sing louder

And tells me to come a bit closer to her

She turns down the volume of her electric upright

When she thinks I'm not looking

My eyes sting a bit

_Ready?_

And she starts again

I sing louder

I can feel it

The warmth in my chest

And the echo behind my ears

As I sing the light and pretty

But sad song

O_o

_Little child _

_Come you way_

_To our sad small home_

_Midst the dark cold ocean waves_

_Little dear_

_Find my voice_

_I will guide_

_You through the icy night_

_It's a cold dark world out there_

_Full of demons and destruction_

_The black soot that fills the air_

_And our lungs to cease our breathing_

_Little bird_

_Op'n your wings_

_Fly to us_

_We will protect you_

_O_o_

I finished singing

And was met by ringing silence

And then Jenny Parker giggled

And the whole class was laughing at me

Kelli Allyrd was shaking her head

An evil content smirk settled on her

Lip gloss drenched lips

The stinging in my eyes grew

And I ran from the room

I herd Ms. Rachel yell to me

But I ran

Down the hall

Tears running off my face

Out the side door

Past the courtyard gate

Down Prairie Street

Running

Running

Running

Oblivious to my surroundings

Running

Running

Running

Not caring that I was ditching school

Running

Running

Running

Not realizing how much trouble I'd be in

Running

Running

Running

O_o

Until I stopped

I regained mental consciousness

I was sitting on a swing

At penny park

Breathing hard

My breath clouding out

Into the could grey air

I gripped the chains

My tears stinging my numb cheeks

I wasn't aware of the person on the swing next to me

Until the voice sounded

_Rough day?_

I jumped slightly

And looked over at him

I was surprised to find that I recognized him

Was an eighth grader at my school

I nodded and looked away

_Wanna talk about it?_

I shake my head

_Say_ he says thoughtfully

_What's a good girl like you _

_Doing all the way out her at…_

There was a pause in which he glanced at his watch

_1:13 when you should be in Math 7_

_Or geometry _

_Or whatever_

My breathing had calmed

I looked up at him

Eye brows arched

_One could ask the same to you_

I told him quietly

He grins at me

_So she does have a voice_

I roll my eyes

He grins some more

I realize I don't know his name

I ask

_Erick Delve _He says

Still grinning

His brown skin crinkles

Around his grey eyes

I start to tell him my name

_I'm…_

_Elizabeth April_

He finishes

I stare at him in shock

_How'd you know?_

His grin fades a bit

_The school loser and all_

I look away

I feel the stinging in my eyes again

_Oh…_

He reaches out

Puts a hand on my shoulder

I flinch

He takes it away

O_o

There is silence for a while

I think how weird it is

That I'm talking to an almost complete stranger

Like we were friends

But Erick didn't feel like a threat

The way everyone else

At school did

He seemed nice

And accepting

And considerate

Except….

The school loser

That's what I am

Loser

Loser

Loser

Idiot

Idiot

Idiot

Jerk

Jerk

Jerk

Me

Me

Me

After a while Erick starts talking again

_For what it's worth_

_I think you're nice_

I stay silent

Sirens sound in the distance

_You need to be careful, Lizz_  
>My fists clench automatically<p>

_Lizz_

I didn't pay attention

The sirens grew louder

Until I could se the police cars at the edge of the park

_There are bad things in your class_

The police man jumps from his car

He talks a bit on his radio and starts towards me

_Stay away from them_

The police man comes closer

I look over at Erick

But no ones there

Just a silent swinging swing

O_o

The police man gently steers me

To the scary police car

Suddenly I'm crying again

_Easy there_

_It's okay_

The police man says gently

He opens the door for me

I sink into the seat

He's driving away

_You had us quite worried there_

_Young lady_

The man says

_Running off from school like that_

_But from what I hear_

_I can't really blame you_

I shake a little

Realizing full out what I did

_Am I in trouble?_

I whisper

_I don't know _he says

The man pulls up into my driveway

And places me into the care

Of my hysterical mother

O_o

I sit at the kitchen table

Staring at my hands

Mom paces in front of me

_How could you do this? _

She yells

_I thought we raised you better!_

The ranting and lecturing rolls on

And on

_You don't understand_

I whisper

Mom snaps up and stares at me in shock

_I don't understand?_

Laughing

_Of course I understand!_

Spitting

_Teenagers!_

_Always the same!_

Stereotyping

_Your little form of _rebellion!

Assuming

_What's going to be next?_

_Will you get dragged home in _handcuffs?

_Are you going to do drugs?_

_Steal?_

Doesn't understand

_It's not like that_

I say

Mom fumes

_Then tell me?_

_What's it like?_

I cringe

_They hurt me_

They hurt me

They hurt me

I'm sinking

I'm falling

I'm dying

And I don't know how to get back up

O_o

_You don't understand _

I tell her

_Because you don't want to understand_

_You don't want to deal with the fact _

_Your daughters such a failure…_

Mom glares at me

Fists balled at her side

_What the hell are you going on about?_

I swallow nervously

_You hate me_

I whisper

_You hate me_

_You don't love me _

_You hate me_

All I was is you acceptance

Your love

You hate me

You hate me

You hate me

And I'm fading

O_o

Mom punches me in the face

O_o

I'm so shocked

I fall of my stool

My head bangs the floor first

Then the rest of me came crashing down

My vision blurs

I try to scoot away

But she's there again

Kicking me

Yelling

_Not my daughter_

_Not my daughter_

_Not my daughter_

And it hurts everywhere

Pain

Pain

Pain

It's all there is

And it's dark

Dark

Dark

Dark

Everything's different then

The place

I called home

Isn't home anymore

It's the place where I stay

Not home

Never home

Not now

Even after the attack

Was over

And I dragged myself to my room

Somehow

That I can't remember

And I curled under the covers

Of my soft bed

Warm

Comforting

Taunting

It's all different now

Different

Different

Different

Not home

Not home

Never home

O_o

Dad gets home

Comes to see me

Thinks I'm sick

Doesn't know about

School

Or Mom

No

Definitely not Mom

Not Mom

Not Mom

Never Mom

The lady that was supposed to be that

To be Mom

Died

But I guess she never really

Truly

Was my Mom

Tina

Tina

Tina

Her

Her

Her

That's who she is

Dad kisses the top of my head

Says how much he loves me

Says he'll be gone

For a month on a business trip

_What?_

No

No

No

Nonononononononoononono

_I'll bring you back some souvenirs! You'll love it! _

_Going to Spain! _

_How cool is that, Lizz!_

I smile lightly

And cough

To weak to get mad at the nickname

_Lizz_

Lizz

Lizz

Lizz

No

No

No

_That's cool, Dad_

I rasp

He sets a cup of tea

And a bowl of soup

On my night table

_Sleep well Lizzie_

_Hope you feel better_

He pats my head one more time

Before walking out

A month is forever away

But the soup tastes good.

O_o

March 11, 2010

I run out of the house

Before Tina can see me

Everyone in the school yard makes a huge fuss

Callbacks were posted

For the musical

I don't bother checking

I lean against the school wall

In the corner

Where I always am

It still hurts everywhere

Aching

Shooting

Screaming

I fell dizzy for a little

And it's gone

Kelli

Chris W.

Jenny

All in my face suddenly

_Congratulation_

Kelli drawls

What are you talking about?

Only in my head

But the confusion was obvious

On my face

I guess

Kelli rolls her eyes

Jenny jumps in

_Did you even bother checking?_

Checking what?

Kelli sighs

_The callback list_

_You idiot_

Jerk

Loser

Failure

Idiot

Idiot

Idiot

_W-what?_

Kelli rolls her eyes to the moon and back

_You made callbacks_

_I mean_

_Come on_

_Someone like you should at least bother checking them!_

_Even I'm polite enough to!_

What?

What is she…?

What?

I made callbacks?

I can't have made callbacks

But she says I did…

Kelli laughed

_You're so predictable_

Whispered silence

_Demigod_

Must be a new type of insult

Demigod

Not aware of what's going on

What they're saying

And then I'm being shoved

Against it cold brick wall

Slamming

Head collides

With a powerful _Bam!_

Dizzy

Dizzy

Dizzy

Hurts

Hurts

Hurts

Laughter

Slammed again

Pain

Pain

Pain

Like yesterday

When Mom…

No when Tina…

When she…

No

Don't think that

Can't think of that

Laughter

Laughter

Laughter

Pain

Pain

Pain

They're going to kill me…

Then there's a new voice

_What you doing Sevies?_

Metallic laughter

_Messing around with little loser girl over here_

_Care to join us_

A different laughter

_Nah_

_She's not worth the energy_

Stinging

Stinging

Stinging

With everything else

You would think I couldn't feel them…

But I did

_Not even worth the thought_

Then it was all gone

Just throbbing

I could see again

Time to go inside now

The bell echoes

All the students walk to the doors

Laughing and talking

With their friends

All accept one

Me

I slowly

And carefully

Made my way to my locker

To Ms. Rachel for attendance

And right off to science

Labs

It makes no sense

Social studies

The constitution

It makes no sense

Lunch

In the library

Where they can't find me

It's just me and Mr. Letterman

He sits at his desk

Reading a book

I sit in a bean bag chair

Reading a book

Math

Fractions

It makes no sense

LA/Reading

One period free writing

One period free reading

It makes sense

O_o

Ms. Rachel's phone rings

I have to go to the auditorium

Ms. Baker is there

Sorting papers

On the edge of the stage

_Could you give me a hand?_

She asked

Handing me a stapler

Is this what she needed me for?

I worked in silence for a little

_You're going to be at callbacks?_

I was quiet

_They're after school until five_

I was quiet

_It's just a few songs and a monologue_

I was quiet

_I don't know if I can make it_

I lied

Ms. Baker sighed

_I'd like you to be there Elizabeth_

Why?

_I don't get why I was called back _

I said quietly

She looked at me

Surprised

_What do you mean?_

_You're an amazing singer!_

What…

Me?

No way

I'm not good at anything

Nice

She's just being nice

Nice

Nice

Nice

_You don't have to be nice_

I muttered to the teacher

_What?_

Confusion

_I'm not good at anything_

_You don't have to say I am_

Ms. Baker looked very surprised

_Elizabeth!_

_You're amazing!_

_I'm not just 'being nice'_

_Once I could hear it_

_Your voice was one of the best_

_I herd all day!_

No

No

No

_Then why were they laughing_

The teacher looked sad all of a sudden

_I don't know _

She said

_But I do have a theory_

_Would you like to hear it?_

I said nothing

She continued anyway

_I think they were jealous_

_Angered even_

_That someone they…_

_Well…_

_Didn't all like that much_

_Was better then them at something_

She glanced at me

Still stapling packets of

Music and slides

I guess to see if I were offended

By her words

I wasn't

I was confused

Again

_They didn't know what to do_

_So they did what comes naturally_

_They laughed_

They laughed

They laughed

They laughed

I slump slightly

_But they were wrong in doing that_

Ms. Baker adds hurriedly

Noting my discomfort

There was no sound between us

But the stapler clicking

Clicking

Clicking

Clicking

The heater spinning

Spinning

Spinning

Spinning

Papers whipping

Whipping

Whipping

Whipping

Then a voice

_Come to callbacks Elizabeth_

I shook my head

_No_

_They'll laugh_

Ms. Baker was quiet for a minute

Thinking to herself

_I really want you to do the callback portions_

Quiet

_What you like to do them now?_

_Rather then later?_

I blinked

_W-what?_

I sputtered

_The callback audition_

_Now_

I really didn't

Want to disappoint her

_Okay_

I guess

_Well then_

_Grab a packet_

O_o

I stood by the piano

After a few quick warm-ups

It started

First was the same one

From yesterday

And then a higher one

I couldn't get

Very well

Ms. Baker had me sing

One more song

One that was lower than the rest

Darker too

It was beautiful

And came easily

She was smiling

When I finished singing

O_o

After taking a few notes

She told me

It was time for the acting part

It was easier than I thought it would be

I just had to read

A monologue

Ms. Baker wrote some more

And smiled at me

The bell rang

And I ran before

I could get caught by

Kelli

Chris W.

Jenny

I let my feet lead me

And my mind switch off

O_o

When I blinked

Back to reality

I was in that park again

Penny Park

Where I was before _it_ happened

Before callbacks

Before Kelli

And Chris W.

And Jenny

The park where I me _him_

I really wasn't surprised

To find him sitting

At the same swing

Nor was I surprised

When my own feet

Walked me over to my swing

And sat down

_Thank you_

I said quietly

Erick looked at me

A smile at the edge of his mouth

_Of course_

Suddenly

His smile vanished

And a worried look

Took its place

_Are you all right?_

_Yeah_

I said

_Thanks to you_

He shook his head

_No_

_There were bruises that weren't there yesterday_

_And there before they got to you_

I blinked

How had he seen that?

How had he noticed?

I panicked slightly

No one could know

No one

No one

No one

I swung in silence

_Are you going to tell me?_

I swung in silence

_Come on Elizabeth_

I swung in silence

_I won't tell anyone_

I swung in silence

_Who did it?_

I stopped swinging

_Tell me_

_Tina_

I whispered

_From the place_

_Where I stay_

It was growing dark

The cold air

Stung my face

It felt almost…

Reassuring

Reassuring that I was still there

Reassuring that someone cared

Reassuring that in the overall picture

Nothing changed

I wondered what I'd have for dinner

O_o

**A/N- This is my apology for not updating in 6 months last time….Sorry about that….Well, at least this was up only a little more then a week! And it's a **_**ton **_**longer! 2886 words! Also, I'm very sorry if some of the content in this chapter was disturbing or discomforting to you, really I am, but it was necessary to more the story forward. Btw, stuff **_**really **_**starts happening next chapter! I'm so excited to write it! One more thing, this chapter took place over two days, while the first two chapters each were about a week. The next chapter will be like the first two. A lot of very important things happened on there two days for Elizabeth, that's why they both received a lot of attention. Well, there ya go! Stay with me! Don't give up! The next chapter should be posted before Christmas (no offense intended to those who don't celebrate that holiday), as I have **_**a ton**_** and a half of stuff going on. Fun stuff! Like concerts and musicals and birthdays (happy early birthday to me…!) and Christmas shopping and musicals and concerts and concerts and teachers that don't let me write in my notebook in class….. Okay. I'm done rambling. Bye! **


End file.
